rockstarr

2006-08-10T06:50:00.000+07:00

Dapatkan cd/kaset OST film Cewe Matrepolis sekarang juga!

Featuring [spasi], Kartika Indah & Superglad.

Off course, all [spasi] songs written by DeanBenitez..

Remember, it's not about the movie...

it's all about listening to good songs that matter :)

2006-07-14T06:10:00.000+07:00

everyone is somebody else's bitch...

[quoted from kinantipinta]

2006-06-10T05:47:00.000+07:00

I may not always be understandable,
but then again we sure try hard aren't we?

2006-03-30T06:54:00.000+07:00

[bono band philosophy]

You've got to give yourself freedom within a band...

to get out of each other's way

as well as

to get in to somebody's face

at the right time...

2006-03-30T06:49:00.000+07:00

God, thanks for the ups and downs along the 25 years of my life.

Thanks for the power and weakness,

thanks for the good laughters

and the bleeding cries.

If I may wish,

please let your will

be in every step of me,

and keep my spirit strong

as long

as it may be.

2006-01-12T11:09:00.001+07:00

* Questions Are Answers *

When words are out of hands;

when hearts are out of shapes;

when some questions are finally answered

in such strange ways;

when i am so tired of waiting

for my turn to be a whole in you;

will you ever understand,

listen, and stay in my land?

When days gone by in blur;

when loud music came to bore;

when old pictures from your own past

still haunt down your present newborn love;

when i am overdried in flood

of a rain season in my head over you;

will you ever materialize,

unchanged and live under my roof?

[to Geisha Doll...

i guess my questions are my own answers,

afterall...]

2006-01-12T11:09:00.000+07:00

* Questions Are Answers *

When words are out of hands;

when hearts are out of shapes;

when some questions are finally answered

in such strange ways;

when i am so tired of waiting

for my turn to be a whole in you;

will you ever understand,

listen, and stay in my land?

When days gone by in blur;

when loud music came to bore;

when old pictures from your own past

still haunt down your present newborn love;

when i am overdried in flood

of a rain season in my head over you;

will you ever materialize,

unchanged and live under my roof?

[to Geisha Doll...

i guess my questions are my own answers,

afterall...]

2006-01-05T15:28:00.000+07:00

I would like to thank everyone for their Christmas and New Year's greetings and wishes.
I hope the best for all of you, as the coming days
are gonna be rough and hard. At work, between plans, in studies, in life, and especially in love.
And remember, whenever those black clouds and
sad stories are appearing nearby or even hever crushed you down already, post-sms-phone-fax-email- and share me those stories. ROCK ON!!!!

2005-12-02T15:55:00.000+07:00

[From Under The Door]

...

Dear Sister,

i'm in a bit of panic rush

right now down here.

Will you pass the tampons, please,

from under the door?

Oh Dear Sister,

why didn't you tell me earlier

about all these madness?

Why didn't you say anything

way earlier before?

Lovely Sister,

we shared bedtime stories

about schooldays and boyfriends,

but why not about this?

Please Sister,

pass more tampons

from under the door,

coz i'm bleeding all over

of a broken-heart disease.

...to whom it may concern...

2005-12-01T10:11:00.000+07:00

[thousand miLLion waLLs]

Please let me stay a few more minutes

behind your thousand million walls,

and find a comforting space

to share-inhale some of your feelings.

Coz I do, wanna sit beside you.

I do, wanna see right through you.

And these fingertips looking for a clue

at the corners of your thousand million walls.

If this is as fas as I get inside

from your protective scar;

will you sing me the songs of million walls

that you have kept to decide?

[dedicated to the fellowship of cold-introvert-people; they say we have no feelings? raise the cocktails, toast!:)]

2005-11-13T22:08:00.000+07:00

[wiLL]

we're just getting started

and nearly halfway there,

will you give up on me now?

...

we've started from our wronged past

and continued to confusing twirls,

will you turn now?

...

the air is thin and choking hard,

and the night's burnt

with strange fire originated from

our bleeding souls,

...

will you get tired of me now?

2005-10-25T09:48:00.000+07:00

[hate]

i don't know
how
can
i earn
so many
flames,
so many
hate,
so much hate.
does this
indicate
the true being of me,
or does this is
the truth of this
fucked up humanity?
and the best part of it all,
i must stand alone
beneath the raining
agony
just to befall
and get back up in a colder
hatred,
again;
and again.

..to whom it may concern...

2005-10-25T09:32:00.000+07:00

[silent]
However hurt;
however painful;
however sad;
they've made you,
keep silent...
At least untill those
bad thoughts
blown away
through nightmares
in your sinful
testaments.

..to whom it may concern...

2005-09-03T20:27:00.000+07:00

[Heal]

Through all the pain
deep inside
these burning bloodveins,
i see my innermost bruises
start to heal.
They have no more pride,
they will always find cracks
just to steal
what i've lost long ago.
Those very scars
remain silent aside
untill it's time for the ego
to kneel
and confess
their every deadly sins.

2005-08-25T19:54:00.000+07:00

[12.08.2005]
Who was the person
i've been kissing all along?
Who was the girl
i slept with last night?
Shall i believe the entity
beyond her flesh & blood?
Was it even a vivid truth
that i'm suggesting
she actually felt something
beneath her salty sweats?
Who was to pretend,
when there are only mirrors
covering the nudity;
the transparent sinful sight
we ever revealed,
in one universe deeper down
than a quick quiet dawn?

2005-07-27T11:29:00.001+07:00

Memories are here to pass by.
They remind us of the simpler times
when we were much more careless
yet were such lucky young bastards.
Memories are here to poke shoulders,
and remind us of the harder tomorrows
where we planted our dreams and hopes
wishing that they will take away yesterdays'
unforgiveable mistakes
and bring brighter older days.
Memories are not here to stay,
they are only mannequins
of the things we wanted to be
but switched onto the very pretenders
in fancy and shiny dresses
of who we forgotten to be.

2005-07-16T18:04:00.000+07:00

Jealousy is such an amazing feeling.
It driven us up and down the crazy life pathways.
It made us do things we hadn't thought about before.
It delivered us to places we have never been.
It killed the very person we were.
It changed the whole sanity concept in our heads.
Jealousy, my friends, is indeed such an amazing feeling.

[inspired by the song 'Hey, Jealousy!' by Gin Blossoms. Hey back.]

Shinkansen

2005-07-13T13:54:00.000+07:00

Some people find love in romantic places,
some other find it in most beautiful scenarios.
While me...
I've found my love on a Shinkansen.
It driven me so fast,
and I really don't know
if it will drop me here
or will it take me
along these endless railways.

[dedicated to my only Geisha Doll...i love u]

weekend breakfast

2005-07-02T10:35:00.000+07:00

i had a nice weekend breakfast with an old friend this morning. and we talked bout how life & love can actually put you into someone else's dreams; wishes; demands; and plans. we both agreed that life is a big matrix (yes, yes, we're quite inspired by the famous-matrix-trilogy) instead. each and every one of us is waiting to be plugged into the master computer and then rely our lives onto that machine. it's only a matter of time. they will get to you somehow. as long as you have the passion for living your life to the fullest; as long as you dare to dream; as long as you dare to wish; as long as you have the love burning in your chest; as long as you truly feel like yourself; as long as you celebrate life; trust me, they will come and get you. they can smell you. they can actually find you by tracking the fighting spirit inside you. they will come in many forms; the forms you can't resist; the people you can't deny; the needs you must fulfill; the reality you can't avoid. they will come. will you be there with me to defeat this machine? will you hold my hands to make me strong? will you help me trick the master computer of life? or will you stand on the other side; let their tentacles grab me and just watch me burn? i had a nice weekend breakfast. i had.

So Help Me God

2005-07-02T10:04:00.000+07:00

After they pointed their fingers straight to my face,
and all eyes on me,
i begun to think
that maybe i've really lost my mind.
Perhaps,
everything i ever believed
and dreamed
were so wrong mislead.
And perhaps,
anything they've doctrined
and said
were the truth instead.
So help me God,
coz i'm dying this time.
So help me God,
take me out of my karma crime.

Street Bible

2005-06-09T11:21:00.000+07:00

I've found my Street Bible.
A book that will change both faces
of heaven and hell.
There is no exact religion
nor concept to believe
within the book,
there's just daily reliefs
for headache and backpain
we voluntarily took.
And the cross was not empty after all.
The Messiah is on the booth,
spinning plats endlessly
and make sure we don't fall
from a high,
don't trip off the fly.

2005-04-25T15:17:00.000+07:00

even after i drowned myself

in two alcoholic days,

i have to admit my loss

and must ignore my emotions,

since

still cant rip you off

my aching head

and mourning heart.

djuga

2005-04-21T09:56:00.000+07:00

Impikan bintang di kecupan,
lingkari biru langit malam.
Kekasih berjuta harapan
sembunyikan hati terdalam.

Djuga..biarlah hati bicara
ungkap semua yang ada
segenap rasa dan jiwa.
Djuga..bawalah diri yang luka
dalam cerita kita berdua
jalani masa berganti...

Meretasi hari berganti,
memastikah tambatan hati?
Memulai lagi perjalanan
jumpa kekasih penantian.

Akankah hati s'lalu sama
'tuk jalani semua berdua?
Cinta ini darah dan doa,
taman hati mewangi bunga...

(an old song about an unforgettable past love)

[unnamed]

2005-04-21T09:48:00.000+07:00

Down the aisle,
they're hoping
that we were the ones who filled their dreamings.
But what no one knows,
eternal love don't choose.

Down this life
we're learning
that we're not the ones who keep on holding.
What everyone knows,
true love doesn't loose.

[unnamed]

2005-04-19T22:35:00.000+07:00

some names are to forbid,
some memories to forget.
some kisses are to regret,
some places to avoid,
and some other things are to be left
undone..

ordinary

2005-04-19T22:14:00.000+07:00

Take off your

feathers,

beacuse the winning days are

over.

Lower the curtains,

we got no more

parade

to celebrate.

perfect

2005-04-18T16:12:00.000+07:00

the world rained hard on you,
the house's broken down to pieces,
people spreadt weird things about you,
friends turned their backs to you,
and there's no chemistry on your love
....
isn't this life just perfect ater all?

afterparty

2005-04-16T22:37:00.000+07:00

Glasses chime
amongst
their spanish songs
and your images
flashed
without a rhyme.
Beneath
the photographs
and posters,
some gypsies
sang your lullabies
to the farthest stars.

the party

2005-04-13T00:18:00.000+07:00

Night was not young anymore

when we surrendered to the sound,

to the atmosphere.

Trip me in your traps,

drag me deep into your kisses,

before we parted

and decided

to hit the road

at last.

kepada malam

2005-04-08T17:51:00.000+07:00

Leburkan sekejap hasrat;
bersamaku, malam ini.
Lepaskan sekecup semburat;
kepadaku, kali ini.

Seandainya hanya seraut temaram yang bisa kita miliki,
biarkan jemari menggenggamkan
diam perasaan kita.

Lupakan dunia sesaat;
bawa aku jauh pergi habiskan imaji singkat,
entah esok lusa nanti.
...
kekaguman pada malam,
keindahan yang sekam,
kejujuran katakata dalam
seiris kebohongan diam.

April's Fools

2005-04-01T12:45:00.000+07:00

And of all the time in the world,

the girl had chosen this very day

to admits

that she's been fooling

each and everyone of us

all along.

Raise your voice aloud,

she will care not anyway.

Cause whatever you may say,

we're all just April's fools.

and the world grew closer

2005-03-27T23:54:00.000+07:00

throw yourself out of your shell

and see for yourself that the world is even closer than you think,

because there are zillions of shells out there

and if you don't mark your way really hard,

you'll be running out of space

real soon

real

soon

Empty Cross

2005-03-24T01:35:00.000+07:00

Did you see the empty cross?

Where did the man go?

Did you see him walk away?

He's been dead for three days,

and there's no way

he could possibly

went

down

the wooden cross

unless

someone let him free.

Did you?

[happy easter]

within

2005-03-23T01:26:00.000+07:00

It's not the community or the conspiracy.
It's not the popularity or the beauty.
It's not even the casualty or the catastrophy.
It's always the same smirking ugly face,
that every now and then consumes the space
inside your brain,
and collapse your days to agony.
...
It's the devil within,
yes indeed,
so help you Lord,
it's the devil within.

3 songs away

2005-03-19T01:46:00.000+07:00

It's almost one a.m.
and i'm driving solo,
measuring the dark
steady in fifty kilos...
steady in fifty kilos.
The distance grew short,
my cigarette went dead,
and the streets calmly ended.
It's somewhere one a.m.
and i'm sleeping solo,
realizing your beautiful disarray
while we are 3 songs away...
3 songs away.
[made after a lonely drive around aftermidnight]

2005-03-17T00:14:00.000+07:00

MEMO

[song & lyric by deanbenitez]

Tiada kata terucap tatkala hati ungkap segala rasa

membawa kita berdua kepada penghujung duka.

Mungkinkah seharusnya cerita kita akan berbeda jua

'pabila kita berdua mampu lewati semua cobaan itu?

Biar Sang Waktu mengungkapkan

apa yang semestinya jadi yang terbaik bagi kita.

Jangan pernah sesali yang t'lah terjadi antara dua jiwa

biarlah sisa kenangan tersimpan di sudut ruang hatimu.

Semoga pada lain jumpa

kita 'kan mampu memadamkan luka masa lalu kita.

(dedicated to every past stories which had inspired my music 'till now)

smell the koffee!

2005-01-28T01:03:00.000+07:00

Welcome to my blog!
Finally, the alter ego had found another form to recreate and regenerate.
So grab the mug, smell the koffee and finish it in a shot! (then get another mug, off course...)
Please feel free to write and post, ROCK ON!